BOSS MOM CAUSE HE'S NO BOSS!!!

Is it better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all? In my current state of thinking, I think that statement is a crock of shit these days and the reasons are because when I say I love someone, I fucking love them whole heartedly! I'm not perfect and never claimed to be. I have been fooled, broken down and felt alone. I have also loved deep, made connections and grown as a person. I struggle with my past, I'm my hardest critic, but I choose to continue to learn and grow from situations that many would have just never gotten up from. I'm a beautifully broken mess and when I say I love you, know that I mean it. Those words don't come lightly because many people say it just because and without meaning. I have learned over the years, that you can't love someone enough to make them change. Love is such a beautiful thing, but it is very blind to the deception of humankind who use love to manipulate and take advantage of the empaths in the world. Now, don...

Realizing your relationship was a lie...realizing the dreams of raising a family together have ended...realizing you are in this alone raising three young girls... I'm having a wtf moment trying to get through this day, which is funny because it's February 14, the day of love. I'm spending it with my children watching movies, snacking, playing and of course me drinking lots and lots of coffee because that is really the only way I know how to get through my days. Today has been strange, to say the least. A whirlwind of emotions have come over me today. Sadness, anger, fear, resentment, hatred, guilt, happiness, to name a few. It's been one of those days where you want to just got back to bed and throw the sheets over your head and not have to face the chaos. I thought leaving the chaos would stop the chaos, however it will forever be there, linked by our three children. Yesterday was the girls visit. My oldest and second oldest said dad wasn't their the whole visit....

  And just like that, snaps her fingers, everything changed. The man you fell in love with when you were 15 years old, the magnetic energy that always brought the two of you back together over the years until one day when you were 28 yrs old, brought you together again and sparked a fire that you both felt, was gone. It didn't just happen over night. It slowly got torn away with each fight, with each yelled word, with each horrible name called, with each time she found messages about his affairs or drug use, with each slap across the face, ruined holidays, birthdays or any special occasions. Stripped down to nothing. Feeling numb. You see, she stayed because it wasn't just about her and him. No, she stayed because of their children. She thought her love would be enough to have him change. To make him realize that their children and her were always enough for him, but sometimes it doesn't matter how hard or how much you love someone. Sometimes you just have to let go of the ...