BOSS MOM CAUSE HE'S NO BOSS!!!

 When I was told I could write a statement about how the violation for the Order of Protection has affected me, I was appreciative that possibly my words would help bring some reality to the offense at hand. I don't think many victims of domestic abuse get a chance or feel comfortable that their words will make an impact, and maybe mine won't either, but all I can say is I tried instead of silently standing by and feeling defenseless. After the Order for Protection was issued and the visitation schedule was set, I was hoping that Mr. JOHN DOE would follow along with the no contact order, however after being married to Mr. JOHN DOE for almost 9 yrs and knowing his background and how he likes to push the limits with the law, I was not surprised when he violated the Order for Protection. After I received the missed call and text messages, I remember shaking. My friend even made the comment about me shaking and my whole body language changed. Mr. JOHN DOE scares me. He has used int...

  Death is never easy Every time it crosses my path, I feel it deep within my soul My heart hurts, it aches and the memories flood in Memories are forever and eventually the pain from the passing of someone close gets a little easier to live with Knowing they aren't in pain or suffering makes it slightly easier to process Today, I'm still processing the passing of my uncle and get a call that my grandmother has passed as well. They are no longer hurting; they are no longer suffering or in pain. The cancer no longer exists in my uncle; my grandmother can walk without pain; they are reunited with my grandfather, who passed in 2016. It's been a sad start to the new year and it can only go up from here. 

I wrote this one year ago. I hope it inspire someone to keep going. Your current situation is not your final destination!!! Believe in yourself. You have so much power and life left to live, so go fucking LIVE it!! Been trying to write a little more these days... Sweetheart the old you is gone. He ruined her. He broke her down til there was nothing but the shell of her left. There’s a new her waiting to be discovered. Start looking for her instead of your old self. This new you will be easily bruised, but has so many tools and experiences now to spot bad vibes from people a mile away. Date yourself. Take care of yourself. Aside from your kids if you have them, make YOU your number one priority and don’t you dare feel guilty for it. Rise like the Phoenix from the ashes of the hell and spread those beautiful wings and fly!!💜

I never said I was perfect, nor do I claim to be. I make mistakes and learn from them. I also have done the work to heal myself, love myself and rebuilt myself leaving my toxic traits in the past. I have found peace in my life and love in my soul. I have learned to create boundaries and trust my gut more than my heart. My heart has been shattered, left in a million pieces on the floor of what I thought would be forever. To feel that unloved, discarded and left to wither into nothing. That's how it feels when someone has gotten into your mind and manipulated your thoughts to make you think you are worthless and everything you do is wrong, when in fact you are the exact opposite. You are worthy of love; worthy of happiness and reciprocating feelings and actions. Love yourself enough to know when to walk away.

  The man I thought I loved, that I fell in love with and married doesn't exist. He never did. He was a projection of me, myself and what I loved and respected until one day the mask fell off and revealed his true self. And then little by little, he tried to break every part of me; my soul; my mind; my spirit; my worth, until I was nothing; until I couldn't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore.  Isolated from family and friends, not wanting to make an appearance at social gatherings because every holiday, birthday or special occasion was always ruined and turned into something not done his way. Selfishness at its greatest and its finest and it almost broke me to a point of forgetting that I am worth more than that. The first step is the hardest. Continue the momentum and focus on your goals; your dreams. You see beautiful, you are worthy and you are so much more than what someone makes you feel.  Never give up because in my mind, you have a lot of people to prove w...

I sent this to a dear friend the other day and thought I would share it because I know someone else feels this... I'm beyond tired. I'm fucking exhausted. I'm exhausted from the shitty cards being dealt. I'm exhausted from having to go through shit that would break most people. I'm exhausted for being the strong one, the independent one, the one who gets through the struggles of what's been coming my way. HOWEVER, I know there is good coming. It can't stay bad forever. Never let the good go to your head and the bad weigh heavy on your heart. You are in a stage of life called transmutation and during that stage you are being forced to go through these struggles to emerge into a better person. You are a wonderful person just as you are, but it's all apart of growing. Just keep looking forward. You have gotten through so much and come so far, be proud of who you are and what you have overcome! I'm fucking proud of you and the person you are! I fucking...