Fearlessly Flawed and Beautifully Broken

She got use to the chaos, the loudness the whirlwind of ups and downs. Something like that doesn't just happen over night. Beaten with words, broken trust, heartaches beyond your craziest nightmares!! She couldn't make this shit up. These are the things you read about or watch in a movie.

The brokenness of her heart turned a once beautiful, caring soul into a black hole of pain and mistrust. How do you come back from that?
She spent a year or more researching narcissism and learning that she wasn't alone. She felt so tricked and used. She felt betrayed by the man she thought was the love of my life. You see she had loved him since they were 15 yrs old and he knew that. They dated for about a month when they were in high school. She broke up with him and apparently broke his heart. However, throughout the years they always reconnected at friends parties or events or just spontaneously running into each other and she always felt there was something; like the moth drawn to the flame. Knowing the danger of the flame yet still wanting to be near it and get close to it.
But ultimately the flame will consume you; burn you; turn you into ashes of the love you felt for him. Feeling like nothing; feeling like you have no one and no where to turn to. Feeling stuck, lost in life, like a robot just going though the motions. Keeping everything to yourself, hiding behind the smile, but to those who actually took the time to listen and look, they saw the pain that you tried to hide.
She looks back at pictures and she sees it plain as day. The pain she thought she got good at hiding was there. She has had people talk with her about how they could see it and how it made them feel. They hated what they saw, how he treated her and couldn't be around anymore. People don't want to involve themselves because then they would have had the rath of him on them. Trust me, she gets it.
She has reconnected with many people who she thought were gone forever, but she is finding out they were always there. Waiting, quietly being patient and cheering her on, hoping that one day she would find the strength to leave.
She is me and I am stronger for what I have had to overcome. I am wiser for what I have gone through and will never let anyone bring me down to feel that way ever again! Love yourself and believe in yourself! You are not alone!!! Keep going!

Comments

  1. Christi O'BoyleMarch 12, 2021 at 12:48 PM

    KEEP GOING!!! The Diamond within you is coming out!!! So proud of you!!!

    ReplyDelete

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