Bad days

Some days are hard. Some days are REALLY fucking hard!! They seem to test your patience; test your limits and almost break you. I think to myself on these days "I hate my life" and then instantly feel guilty for thinking that. See, I do not hate my life. I say it out of frustration. I have three young kids, and yes I know it was my choice to have them, however, I was also under the impression that I would have someone next to me, here with me to help. So, I have a moment of weakness when I feel overwhelmed with the constant "Mom! Mommy! Mama! Now! Now! NOW!!!!

I don't believe I am alone. I know there are others in the same boat, doing this parenting thing all by themselves. I am starting to understand and realize more and more the importance of self care, self love and giving myself grace and showing myself kindness because I am doing this by myself. I am VERY grateful for the friends and family that are still around and have helped and continue to help out!! Without them, this all would feel even more impossible!

I know there are going to be bad days. Days that make me wish I could just go back to bed and throw the covers over my head and hide from life, but that's just not going to happen because if I don't do it, there is no one else that will and I look at each of my kids and know that they deserve a mom that continues to show up and be there and so here I am; showing up and keep going for them.

 They are my world; they are my inspiration and my reason to continue to get up each morning and seize the moments; to continue to take the chances to better our future and give each day everything I have!!!

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